God's protection for my family (updated)

Just last week, my parents were clearing the shelves in the guest room, and found some of my files and papers from my teaching days, and also a composition book from my student days. I discovered this composition that i wrote in March 1984 about what happened to my family one day at the end of February 1983.

I'll just have it shown to you in it's entirety without (much) editing (er... had to edit because of slight melodrama...to my own 'horror'...cringe cringe... i was only in my teens at that time lah!! on the other hand, i could have been more affected by the accident at that time, haha excuses excuses.)

They were driving along a highway at Bukit Timah at around half past five in a new car, Corolla GT 1300 cc. It was just two days old. They were on the way home after visiting Kong Kong and Ah Ma. There was a jam because it was after office peak hour traffic.

The people in the car were hot and bothered although it was air-conditioned. Baby D, just 6 weeks old at that time, was perspiring profusely and crying in mummy's arms in the back seat. In order to better get the cool air from the air-conditioner, she moved to the centre. Little did she know, this action saved her life, and baby D's.

Papa was impatient at not moving forward. Brother was sleeping on the front seat despite the deafening cries of the baby. I was missing from the car as i was in school.

At last the traffic eased. Out of the corner of his eye, Papa saw a lorry crash into a bus . It was just on the right of them. He woke up Brother. At the very next moment, the lorry, in trying to avoid the bus, swerved to the left. Their car was on its' left. The impact brought the car onto the road divider. It was all so sudden.

Everyone in the car screamed. Then, everything was quiet. They got out of the car slowly, as if still in a daze. On discovering the baby's head wet with blood, they knelt down on the pavement to thank God for protecting them and asked for mercy from God regarding Baby's condition.

A passerby provided a dirty rag to cover the wound on mother's arm, but she was not even aware of any pain because of her anxiety over Baby's supposed head wound. Several other passers by began to reprimand the lorry driver. He jumped out of his seat and started to give excuses. He did not even apologise.

The traffic on the highway came to a halt on the opposite lane because of the accident.

Four pilots in a Datsun offered to bring my family to the nearest hospital. While in the hospital, all the procedures were done by the helpful pilots as my family was still shaken by their experience.

Baby and Mummy were taken into the x-ray room. The results showed that Baby's head was fine, but mother's left arm was fractured. The flesh where the fracture was, was hanging loose from the bone. Her arm would take half a year to regain its use. Both mother and child were hospitalised. They wanted to observe Baby, and Mummy's arm needed to be operated on. Papa and Brother escaped with a few cuts and scratches. Baby suffered slightly from post-accident trauma, reacting in fear and tears and cries to loud noises, perhaps up to a year or more...

While all this was going on, i came home, bursting with news of the day for my family, but no one was home. That seldom happened. It was already 7pm. I sensed something was wrong. A while later, the telephone rang (this was before mobile phones were common). I answered it, recognising my brother's voice at once although it sounded so different from his lively, high-pitched (this was before puberty) voice. He told me what happened in between sobs.

I hung up the phone when the three minutes were up (he called from a public phone). There had been no time for me to ask him questions. I burst into tears, wishing i was at the hospital. I had gathered from the bits and pieces of information that Baby's head was injured, and i was so afraid he would die. I sat down at my desk. If my brothers or parents were to die...oh how i hated the lorry driver. Why had it happened to my family? Questions that received no answers kept entering my head. I became very restless.

The stillness of the house was too much for me. It held suspense, and perhaps disaster. I took the keys, some money and went down to take a taxi to the hospital.

When i reached the hospital, i found, to my great relief, that no one was near the brink of death.

The investigating traffic police officer said that my family was just lucky to have had escaped death. I knew it was not luck. It was God's providence and protection. His mercies endure through all generation.

Note 1: Baby is now a fine young man and in bible school. Brother is happily married to a beautiful woman, and both have good jobs and serve actively in church. My parents, now retired (or re-fired as papa always says), hale and hearty, have been to various nations to travel and also serve the Lord. I'm so glad that God loves and protects.

Note 2: We invited the four pilots for a family thanksgiving soon after the accident, but have since lost contact. They were not believers at that time. It had always been our desire that they came to know the Lord.

Note 3: The 2-day old car had to be scrapped because it was so badly damaged - the back left door completely caved in almost to the centre of the back seat. We got a new car weeks later.

Afternote 1: If i had been in the car, there would have been less space in the back seat, and mum with baby may not have moved to the centre. Well, we won't go down that path because we actually didn't.

Afternote 2: The rest of the family had to play a larger role in taking care of Baby as mum could not use her left arm. Praise God we found a nanny in the same block.

Afternote 3: Kong Kong said that Baby must have a call upon his life... we shall see...

my soul follows hard after thee

As i came before God this morning, the Holy Spirit reminded me of this scripture - my soul follows hard after thee. I found it in Psalm 63:8 (KJV).

I read the psalm and the first 8 verses so closely matched the expression of my soul and spirit at this time.

1O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is; 2To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary. 3Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee. 4Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name. 5My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips: 6When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches. 7Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice. 8My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.

there's gonna be more

we had an awesome prayer meeting where we worshiped the Lord for 40 minutes without realising it, and there was a time of consecration before the Lord. There was just 2 songs and we just lifted our hearts in praise.

We then prayed for a missionary to Nepal who was back on home visit, (there was a prophetic song, and some words of encouragement for her), then our pastor, then our congregation leaders. We gathered around these people in turn, lifted our voices and prayed.

I was gonna lead the people into praying for outreach events when hubby told me that he had it in his spirit to continue in worship. There was an agreement in my spirit, so i led them in worship with one of the songs prepared, but the worship leader had not used it earlier.

There was such a cry of consecration again from among us. I saw in my spirit people coming to the front and kneeling in surrender to the Lord. It took me a couple of minutes before i released that as i was checking with the Lord. I had done the same thing last year, and there was no response, so there was a fear there. I told the Holy Spirit that this was His to orchestrate, and if there was no response, it was to Him the people were responding, not to me and what i could say or do. Then i yielded.

One by one, the people came up. There were at least 12-15 people kneeling on the floor, on the cushion at the altar railing. Tears were flowing from some as they prayed on their own and fellowshiped with the Lord. A few stood where they were and just worshiped. I saw one who did not move to the front just kneel where she was. There was such a move of the Spirit in their lives, as they both ministered to and were ministered by the Lord.

All GLORY be unto Him.

There's gonna be more!

take your limitations off!

To see the fullness of His glory in our midst, it seems that the Holy Spirit is saying to us:
"take your limitations off! Begin to speak forth what the Lord has shown you in your spirit."

Acts 4:29-30 (AMP)
And now, Lord, observe their threats and grant to Your bond servants [full freedom] to declare Your message fearlessly, While You stretch out Your hand to cure and to perform signs and wonders through the authority and by the power of the name of Your holy Child and Servant Jesus.

throw down your rod! (just updated!)

i was at prayer meeting last night. God's presence was awesome. It was a strong call to consecration to Him. During the worship, i was reminded again of a dance that i saw many years back in my mid-teens. It's been coming back to me in the last week actually.

I don't really remember the tune of the song, but i remember the dancer miming out the words of the song, which was about Moses being called to throw down his rod. This dance has been impacting my life through the years as i grew in the Lord as i would remember time and again the lesson. God would show me different aspects of being consecrated to Him.

In a way, you could call it a prophetic dance...

The rod in Moses' hand represented his vocation, his comfort zone, his ability and talent, the strength of his life. But as Moses decided to give his all to the Lord by throwing down his rod as instructed by the Lord, it became a serpent - a symbol of God's power and might. God actually asked Moses to pick it up, and when he did, it became a rod again.

But the rod was already different. Now it represented God's authority and power in the hands of Moses. Moses was different. God was then able to use Moses because of his obedience to bring His people out of Egypt, a land of bondage and oppression. God could trust Moses.

What does it mean to throw down your rod? It may mean different things to different people.

For me, one of the things that i had to put aside was my love for singing. It's been my dream since i was in my mid-teens to sing all over the world. I've had to "put it down", throw it down many times, so that i no longer needed it to boost my self-esteem, or serving my purposes selfishly.

One of the things i loved to do was to sing solo. This allowed me to push myself to improve my voice, as i had to practise and ensure that i could handle the songs easily, and some songs were a challenge. I took exams, i sang in a few musical productions, and assumed that God allowed me to participate in all these just because he allowed me to take the first steps. I went further than God allowed me to. So quite a few times, i had to pull back, and give it to the Lord.

I remember once i actually felt physically sick when i even thought about going for rehearsals. This took place over a few weeks, before i finally spoke to the music director, and withdrew from the choir and any production.

Each time, the Lord would return it to me - when the Lord put it in my hand again, it took on different life and power. i also became more focused on His plan and purpose for my life, instead of pursuing my own desires, whims and fancies. This did not happen immediately of course. It was noticeable only after a period of time had passed.

I wanna sing for Jesus all over the world.
I wanna touch them with His saving and healing power, advancing His kingdom.
I wanna bring people into His presence where they encounter Him and never be the same again. I wanna be HIS channel of blessing, bringing rivers of living waters to those thirsting for Him, bring hope to those in despair, bringing truth and light to those in oppression and darkness.

It's His to use as He wills.

I care less and less about how i sound, or how good i am. And the wonderful thing is that He takes care of that part of it.

Ultimately, it's about Him and giving all GLORY to Him. My part is to continue to be yielded to Him.

It's about having Him and knowing Him in my life, not just His gifts. I continue to focus on Him.

Phil. 3:10-11
(ESV)
Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.

(AMP)
Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One),

deeply moved

i read the last couple of entries... wondering whether there was too much emphasis on myself... but really my focus is to chart the process of spiritual growth and how the manifestations and ministry of the Holy Spirit impacted my life.

Anyway, this has been in my spirit lately: the testimony of this 20 year old sister who lives in another country deeply moved me and others when we heard it just last december in our teaching trip.

At 17, she topped the matriculation exams in her entire state, and was invited by the government to the capitol to receive an award. It was an honour to be so recognised. She was also offered a scholarship to study. However, she had heard from the Lord, and decided to turn down the all expense paid for scholarship, and went into a bible school. She is in her 3rd year now, and she will be graduating soon with a bachelor's degree in theology. She wants to impact lives through teaching the word of God after completing her masters.

I praise God for her obedience, and pray that favour will surround her like a shield, and God's goodness and mercy will follow her ALL the days of life.

John Sung was such a man who set aside things of the world in order to pursue the things of God. He put aside his paper qualifications in order to serve God. As a result of his obedience, many lives were transformed in the Chinese speaking world.

Not every one is called to do that. Some are indeed called to remain in the marketplace to impact and influence lives too! So whatever we do and wherever we are placed, we need to have what i call "eternal spiritual perspective" so that we do things that WILL last, that will remain, that will not be burnt by the judgment of our works by fire
- bringing up children in the ways of the Lord (not the world),
- speaking hope and purpose into lives,
- showing them that following God would be the best thing to ever do in their lives
- helping people discover the plan and purpose of God for their lives
- bringing people into the Kingdom of God and thus being part of eternal LIFE instead of death.

Frivolous things, temporal things, things of the world will pass away, but eternal things are well, eternal.

my christian heritage part 8(b) - prophetic statements

P and C Ang came to my church - this was probably some months after the prophet i wrote about in the previous chapter. They conducted a seminar and i believe i was leading worship then.

During the teaching, i believe he was led to speak words of wisdom and knowledge to various individuals in the congregation. He just asked us to remain where we were, standing or seated, and spoke forth.

I still remember 2 of the men whom he ministered to, and they are still in church today. One is a giver to missions and missionaries, and one is a minister of the gospel.

They spoke over my life, and mentioned that i'll be speaking into lives, bringing hope and life to people. I'll be like the spark plug of the church. There was something about my music, and that i'll be bringing in people into the kingdom - a little here, a little there.

Hmm... i must find that piece of paper on which i wrote the prophecy... it's much more coherent.
Till later then...

my christian heritage part 8(a) - prophetic statements

Besides the prophetic statement i made about the how my family will serve the Lord, i've had also received quite a few prophetic statements in those initial years which so much encouraged me in my walk with the Lord, and impacted my life, causing me to grow spiritually.

Indeed God continues to speak today through men and women. We just have to be careful to "test all things; hold fast to what is good" (1 Thessalonians 5:21).

I've recorded most of them in my journals, but what i'll do here is to write my impressions from memory so there is a sense of them. To refer to my journals would result in too many details...

There was a man who came to our church on a weekday evening to share about his experiences in the Lord. This was probably about 16 or 17 years ago. He spoke of an intimate relationship with the Lord which was very appealing to me. He shared that he knelt down and greeted the Lord once he reached home - just to be aware of His presence. At the end of his sharing, there was a time of question and answer. I don't know what i asked, but his answer was to remain etched in my heart. Perhaps it was not a direct response to my question. It was probably a timely prophetic teaching.

"You are sensitive. Guard your vulnerability and sensitivity by abiding in Him. There is a difference between being sensitive to the Holy Spirit and to people around you. Don't get easily hurt. Learn allow the Lord to deal with those issues that affect you."

From then on, i began to differentiate between being sensitive to the Lord and being emotionally affected by what people said of me.

bible reading come alive!

My church is encouraging members to read the bible in one year starting from Genesis. I've done that a few times in my life already. I think i started the most recent one some time ago, but skimmed or skipped some books like Leviticus and Numbers, so for this bible reading in one year exercise, i decided to start from Revelations.

Aside: It would have been interesting reading the bible chronologically too. Job would have been one of the first books, i believe! I'll try that one day. There are websites with bible reading plans which can be emailed daily upon request. Hmm... perhaps i'll just start immediately... yep...i just subscribed to online reading... :D

I've just finished 1 John (the 4th book in reverse order) this morning, and the truths leapt out at me. The focus is on doing which naturally supernaturally outflows from being...IN HIM. John encourages us that we are able to sin not, keep His commandments, love our brothers and overcome all evil just because of who God is and what He has done for us through Jesus to make us who we are in Him.

Tremendous.

If we practice righeousnessness, we are righteous just as He is righteous. If there is no doing, for example if we do not practise righteousness, we are not of God. But we are of God, so we are able to practice righeousness. The link is that God's life, love, righteousness, etc, are already in us, so we are able to be righteousness and do righteously.

1st anniversary of "passion with purpose"

It's been a year since i started blogging.

I really enjoy the process. It has helped me focus on, even 'concretize' in a way, what i'm learning from the Lord, as i put down in words things which are spiritual which are also eternal and permanent and invisible.

Many times, the Holy Spirit gives me ideas, titles, introductory statements, and i just start writing what He shows me. So this is very much a long-term exercise in being led by the Holy Spirit.

To celebrate (hehe...so sentimental, right?), I've added more photos, linked several blogs, and changed the layout and design template.

All glory to the Lord!

first blog of 2008 (updated)

This is my first blog of the year 2008, complete with photos. :D

i can't believe i'm awake in the middle of the night, after having slept for only 2.5 hours. i wonder whether it is the espresso i drank at 3pm today (took 10 hours to kick in). I don't often drink coffee, and usually latte (less coffee more milk), though rarely, like not more than once a month. So well, i am up... (grin).

These two phrases have been in my spirit the past 24 hours:

1. missions exist because worship doesn't (John Piper) - i just discovered from the younger of my two brothers who was the one who said it. I've had this statement on the first page of my bible for three years now. Now i've added the 'author'. I've been impacted by this statement regarding the importance of missions (and this includes discipleship - of preaching and teaching the truths so that more are equipped for the great commission) because of the heart of God who longs for fellowship with those He created.

2. i woke up yesterday morning before 5 am with the following phrase repeated again and again in my heart (This morning i woke up at 1 am. haha!):

rivers of living waters shall flow from you...
(see photo of waterfall taken in Dec 2007)

I just received from the Lord, placed my hands on sleeping hubby, and began to pray in tongues.

We want to preach, teach and heal in the Name of Jesus just like Jesus did, bringing LIFE to all we meet!

This picture was taken on the last day of 2007. I saw it, got excited, and just had to take a shot as it brought to my spirit Psalm 1:1-3 (ESV):-

1Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
2but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.
3He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.

There is promise of fruitfulness and prosperity when we choose to obey the Lord.