Year 17 - I began to be more serious about the things of God, more interested in singing and continued having crushes on various guys in church - one at a time. I guess it is part of growing up. (but that sure does not beat being in love with and loving one man for the last twenty something years - married for almost 16 years.)

It took me some time to adjust

Year 18

Year 19

my jc classmate

I just found out two days ago from a Junior College (JC) classmate that another JC classmate that i had been thinking about for a couple of years now, and searched for on FB for at least a year, hoping she will somehow open an account, has passed away. The JC classmate whom i recently linked up with after seeing her in a TJC anniversary dinner photo saw an obituary of our friend some time last year.

I was shocked. I consider our age to be young, in the full bloom of life - mature enough to avoid making silly mistakes, and yet young enough to still have dreams yet to be fulfilled.


My first response was sadness, curiosity and concern: i will never meet her again. we will not talk and laugh together, not in this life anyway. what had happened? was she a believer? Is she in heaven now? Why did she die so young? What had life dealt her? She was very sociable, and needed affirmation through her relationships. She was street smart and made life exciting and interesting for those around her.

My second instinct was fear: will it happen to me too? But this was very quickly nipped in the bud. Psalm 91:16 promises that we will have long life - till we are satisfied. I intend to live long, to about 100 years old.

The third response came much later. As i was worshiping the Lord with other believers yesterday, i began to hear from the Lord about His heart for the lost. I cried at first as i did not know where this friend was now, then in my spirit, i knew i had to move on. I could no longer do anything about this friend. She could be in heaven for all i knew. But there were other souls that needed His love and mercy that i could reach. Other connections to be made that i can influence and impact. And even as i let that brew in me, another believer was saying the same thing, even more fluently and beautifully (in terms of impact). I knew i had to release what the Holy Spirit was showing me, and to pray.

We began to interceded for the lost.

We began to sense God's heart of compassion for them.


The cry of my heart echoes
the cry of His heart:
He loves the lost
no matter
what they've done,
where they've been,
how they've behaved.
He reaches out
with arms of love and mercy,
pulling them in,
embracing them.

encouragement in september 2012

i have received so much encouragement from the Lord this month - so that i continue standing on His promise, still going on strong. The Holy Spirit has seen it fit to build me up further for things to come.

i have received encouragement in a vision just as i was waking up, an affirmation that His promise will come to pass.

i have received encouragement over a lunch chat with a friend, which sparked off something in my spirit.

i have received encouragement in the words that flashed in my heart - "you are already free. Why are you still jumping through hoops?" which came after i awoke from a dream about how the door of a room was open, and yet the whole group of us were still trying to get out of the confined space through various means, even to the removing of an air-conditioning unit. But the door was open all the while.

i have received encouragement from my dad who shared with me that he prayed for me from the story of the healing of the woman with the issue of blood from Mark 5.

i have received encouragement from a bible school classmate who stands believing with me.

i have received encouragement from an aunt (dad's cousin) who was prompted to send me some information via whatsapp, boosting my hope and courage.

i have received encouragement from a fellow christian who remembers to pray for me often.

i have received encouragement from the word of God in 1 John 5:14-15 (NKJV) - "Now this is the CONFIDENCE that we have in Him, that if we ASK anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we KNOW that He hears us, whatever we ASK, we KNOW that we have the petitions that we have ASKED of Him." 

I continue in my journey, strengthened.

fashioned for faith

"I am inwardly fashioned for faith, not for fear.

Fear is not my native land; faith is.

I am so made that worry and anxiety are sand in the machinery of life; faith is the oil.

I live better by faith and confidence than by fear, doubt and anxiety.

In anxiety and worry, my being is gasping for breath--these are not my native air.

But in faith and confidence, I breathe freely--these are my native air."

- E. Stanley Jones

walk-a-talk

Had me a walk-a-talk at Botanic Gardens today with my aunts and parents, at first in the healing garden, then past the symphony lake, ending up at the visitor centre. It's been about a decades since i was last at BG. Beautiful with surprising splendid sculptures along the picturesque pathways amongst fascinating flora. Earned me a few mosquito bites on my legs and bird poop on my t-shirt. Concluded with a delectable brunch at holland close. All in all, a fruitful morning. :D

same lesson in REAL life!

I was taking a walk with a dear friend at the beach yesterday morning.

We were enjoying the sea breeze and warm sunshine when i was 'attacked' by an insect - dark brown in colour and looked like a bee or wasp. It was almost one inch in length.

It flew into my chest, and lodged itself comfortably on the left side. I did not know where it went, and so was frantically flapping my t-shirt, gasping and squealing. Finally i saw it, and had to use my finger and thumb to pick it out and fling it away.

I was so relieved i began laughing, at the same time hoping no one saw my silly antics.

My dear friend assured me that no one was near enough to see and know what was going on.

That afternoon, when i was on my way home, the Holy Spirit showed me that i was to do the same thing with anything that the devil tries to put on my body or in my life, of course without the silly antics. I was to do ALL i could do to remove the the oppression or obstacles or things in my life that are not aligned to the Word of God, ensuring that these DO NOT stay. And i could because i have already been given authority.

Just like i would not continue walking and talking with my friend, allowing the irritating insect to stay on my body, i would not allow the evil one to take any foothold in my body or any circumstances that i face, IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS!

Thank you Lord for this precious truth, taught in such an unforgettable manner.

Leave! in the Name of Jesus!

I had this recurring dream - at least 3 times over the past few nights.

There was a small lizard crawling over my living room sofa. It was just a baby lizard and very dark in colour.

My instincts took over, and i started chasing it away. When i could not get at it to kill it, hubby came to help me too. We did not rest until our sofa set was clear of any crawling lizard.

I didn't not pay much attention to the dream until it occurred a third time.

Just yesterday morning, as we were walking to the swimming pool, the Holy Spirit illumined the meaning of the dream.

I have to do the same thing to the evil one oppressing me with this pain. I have already been healed because Jesus took the wound on His back. I have been given the authority to deal with the symptoms that affect me. The powers of darkness have been spoiled by Jesus. satan no longer has any real power. he is like a lion without any teeth or claws, a pussy cat who tries to roar.

I have to take authority and ensure that these symptoms LEAVE my body.
They have NO POWER over my body.
NO POWER to inflict any harm or any pain.

So LEAVE!! in JESUS' Name!
I'm free from any sickness or disease, pain or affliction.
Jesus has set me free and whom the Son sets free is FREE indeed!

Hallelujah!

re-union

I enjoy the Chinese New Year, though some may find it boring or meaningless.

I like being with people, especially family. It's great meeting at least once a year, where you get to catch up with everyone what they are doing. And i get to know them better, and how to pray for them better too!

I met 14 uncles and aunts, 19 cousins (including their spouses) over the first two days of CNY, some of whom i only get to see once a year. We heard good news that a cousin in Brunei would be getting married in June.

I also met up with my niece and nephew, and then 7 more distant nieces and 8 more distant nephews (my cousins' or hubby's cousins' children) , the oldest of whom is 29, and the youngest, barely 2. All of them on just two days. I played board games with two young nieces.

We have more aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces we have not met in Singapore, in Australia, Brunei, China, England and UK, and one nephew on the way back from Amsterdam.

I received a precious email from one of my cousins, and chatted with another cousin on FB.

I laughed, listened, (teared discreetly at one point) and allowed the love of GOD to just flow through.

rest in His flow

I woke up in the middle of the night, and was aware of the presence of the Lord in my bedroom.

Lying in bed, i began to thank Him for what i recognised as His healing flow from His very throne. I was hesitant at first, because i was not sure whether the healing was manifest in my body. (i had been confessing my belief that i am the healed of the Lord, and by Jesus' wound, i had already been healed.)

Then, i realised that i was trusting my physical senses more than my spiritual.

The truth is i have already been healed according to the Word of the Lord. The physical fact is i am still troubled by symptoms, though less intense at that time, so that i was not sure whether they were still present as i was just woken up.

I then gave my entire focus to just praising the Lord. I even got up, danced for a while, then lay down again. I felt my doubts drain away.

It was a joyful time. :D

God and impossibilities

"Impossibilities don’t scare God – He works with impossibilities!"

~ Patsy Cameneti ~