my pastor

I was so blessed when my pastor told me earlier this week that she had been praying for me for some time.

I had not known this before. I know she is a pray-er, but as i had never shared this particular prayer request of mine with her before, i did not know she had observed and seen my desire, as quickened by the Holy Spirit.

I am so glad i found this out, so glad it brought tears to my eyes.

Valentine's Day

Last week, I got the above ticker (at the top of the page) indicating how many years we've been married in a burst of romantic fervour, brought on by the onslaught of Valentine's Day advertisements. I'm a romantic at heart, really. (grin)


My husband and i went for a lovely and quiet (well, you may call it romantic; for us, it was just enjoyable :D) pre-Valentine's Day dinner. This is to avoid the pricey, costly dinners and the crowds. So for the past few years, we either celebrate at home or we go out for dinner a few days earlier. Recently, we preferred not exchanging gifts. This is to avoid cracking our heads thinking what to buy for each other, and then filling our home, and its nooks and corners with more knick-knacks.

After all, my birthday was/is in November, our wedding anniversary and Christmas in December, followed by Chinese New Year, and then hubby's birthday in March. Too many gifts and dinners over too many years... the memories all meld into one big blur...hehe...

This subtle change in my attitude over the past few years has made me more content. And instead of looking out for what i can GET, i begin to look for ways to bless others.

My girlfriends (long-time friends from sunday school days) also shared different ways they celebrate or not celebrate Valentine's Day, wedding anniversaries or birthdays, making me realise that every couple is different. And if we use a single yardstick to measure, our spouses might come up short, and then we might remain dissatisfied, but you see, a choice had been made. I prefer that we learn to appreciate the strengths of our loved ones instead of focusing on their weaknesses.


1 Corinthians 13:7 (Amplified Bible)
"Love ... is ever ready to believe the best of every person"

Still, there are many things to be thankful for on special occasions like this. And lessons to learn too.

I'm thankful for my God who demonstrated the greatest love of all, and from whom i can learn so much.

John 15:13 (NIV)
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

i'm thankful for my husband, my family, and my friends who love me, and whom i love.

i am learning to not to allow any person - what they do or say or think - affect my day or my mood.

i am learning to focus on the strengths of others.

i am learning to love...

Deer feet - prayer

Dear God, It is you who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.

Thank you for making my feet like the feet of a deer; enabling me to stand on the heights.

Thank you for training my hands for daily obstacles, battles, and spiritual hurdles.

Thank you for giving me your shield of victory.

Thank you for broadening the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn (from 2 Samuel 22:33-37).

I praise and worship You, Almighty God. I trust you to work in me to keep my feet on solid ground and to help me be a witness of Your saving grace to my family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors. May all glory and honor be unto you. In Jesus' name, amen.

let me

ni ai shi wo shu xing chong xing lai guo
你愛使我甦醒重新來過

shen qie ke wang neng huo zai ni shou zhong
深切渴望能活在你手中

sheng ming geng sui ni tiao dong
生命跟隨你跳動

meng xiang ying ni er qi dong
夢想因你而啟動

suo you yi qie jiao gei ni hao wu bao liu
所有一切交給你毫無保留


rang wo wei ni er huo
讓我為你而活

rang wo wei ni er zhan li
讓我為你而站立

yong bu fang qi xiang ni ai wo
永不放棄像你愛我

rang wo wei ni qian jing
讓我為你前進

wo qi xi shi ni shu hui
我氣息是你贖回

ru jing dan dan shu yu ni
如今單單屬於你

huo chu ni zhi yi de sheng ming
活出你旨意的生命

gai bian shi jie wei ni zhuan dong
改變世界為你轉動


zhuan dong de meng xiang
轉動的夢想

shi xian de xi wang
實現著希望

wo yi kan jian yong heng de guang mang
我已看見永恆的光芒

guang mang zai wo xin shang
光芒在我心上


zai shi jie zhan fang
在世界綻放

rang wo wei ni zhao liang
讓我為你照亮

yi sheng ai ni from streams of praise

qin ai di bao gui ye su
親 愛 的 寶 貴 耶 穌，

ni ai he deng di gan tian
你 愛 何 等 地 甘 甜，

wo di xin shen shen bei ni xi yin
我 的 心 深 深 被 你 吸 引，

ai ni shi wo di xi le
愛 你 是 我 的 喜 樂。

yi sheng ai ni yi sheng jing bai ni
一 生 愛 你，一 生 敬 拜 你，

yi sheng ai ni yi sheng rong yao ni
一 生 愛 你，一 生 榮 耀 你，

yi sheng feng xian yi sheng bu hui tou
一 生 奉 獻， 一 生 不 回 頭，

yi sheng ai ni gen sui ni
一 生 愛 你， 跟 隨 你。

Jesus the very Name

I'm reading a book recommended by my brother - Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. My brother loved the book. I think it's a guy thing... cos the book is written by a guy. I found it slightly self-indulgent till i came to page 114, and what he said before that made sense as he was painting a scenario, a background forming who he is, and how he thought and behaved.

From page 114, his comments about our relationship with God made sense, and i began to understand why he did what he did, though i may not understand all that he did. Still, what he said made sense.

So whilst i took 2 days to read till page 114, i took only half a morning to read till page 233, where he quoted an anecdote of Bill Bright, which shook me to my very core.

This shaking to my very core has been happening quite frequently in the past weeks. I've been listening to a chinese song about surrender and loving God called yi sheng ai ni from streams of praise (zan mei zhi quan) about 100 times in the past month, and impacted by the lyrics. Just heard another song yesterday afternoon which brought me to tears and almost on my knees (my head was bowed to my knees as i sat on my sofa)- also in Chinese, about impacting the world with his light in me and no turning back. Shaken

Back to the anecdote:
Dr Bill Bright was asked a final question in an interview of successful ministry leaders (about what they were doing and why what they were doing was working) - what did Jesus mean to you. Dr Bright could not answer the question. Instead, he just started to cry. A big man, full of life, who listened without shifting his eyes, sat there in his big chair behind his big desk and wept.

I don't know about you, but i was shaken yet again. I want to know Jesus more and more, like he knew Jesus, that he could cry at the very mention of His NAME.

are you desperate enough?

At prayer school yesterday, I heard this in my spirit:
"Are you desperate enough?
It is not about being desperate for your own desires.
It is about being desperate for God's plans and will to be fulfilled for your life, for Him to bring to pass what HE wants for your life."

I quickly wrote it down in my diary as the words impacted me. In fact, a dear friend and i were briefly talking, just the day before, amongst other things, about whether we were desperate for our desires.

I had no immediate response then. I only knew that whatever desires i had could not overshadow my desire to fulfill God's plans for my life. I had learnt through the years, to continue believing that God's Word will ALWAYS be fulfilled. I had learnt to be joyful in ALL circumstances, even in the midst of trials, challenges and disappointment. I depended on His grace to help me live in order to impact lives around me.

I have seen some whose desires remain unfulfilled become bitter, resentful, ineffective, behaving as though God or the world owed them something. They became desperate, oblivious to God's abundant blessings, till they receive the fulfillment of their desires, often by their own effort, or give up in despair, wallowing in self-pity and the pain of disillusionment.

I prayed that i would never walk that path.

Now, I believe that God is showing me that it is okay to be desperate for His plans to be fulfilled in my life. This is a wonderful revelation to me: that His desire is to fulfill mine. When i know that our desires coincide, in a unity of purpose, it is okay to be desperate for my desire to be fulfilled.

It had always been my prayer that I will know His will, and that my will is to do His. I had always submitted my own desires to Him. Now my Lord is saying that His will is to fulfill my desire. So be desperate for its fulfillment!

Wow! Isn't that a tremendous demonstration of the love my God has for me??!!

Happy Niu Year

Psalm 92:10
You have exalted my horn like that of a wild ox; fine oils have been poured upon me.

Prov 14:4
Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest.

Happy Year Of The Ox to one and all.

standing firm on His promises

This encouraged me greatly in my journey of faith... I know it and am exercising patience, and this spoke volumes to my spirit. :D

"Faith opens the door to God's promises for us, and patience keeps it open until that promise is fulfilled. So put patience to work and the Bible guarantees we will receive our reward. Some people never receive answers from God because they quit too soon. About the time the answer is ready to reach them, they lose patience and quit trusting God. We always want the easy way out, but we need to stay in there and not quit when the going gets rough.

Patience is not only the ability to wait, but also the ability to have a good attitude while waiting. Waiting is part of life that cannot be avoided. We spend a great deal of our lives waiting; if we don't learn to do it patiently, we will be quite miserable. God is patient with us, and we are to imitate Him. To make our patience strong, we should practise patience in everyday situations. Every time we do, patience will grow stronger, just like a muscle.

Patience is consistent endurance. When we walk in patience, we remain consistent all the way through situations, no matter what comes along. We're not up and down like yo-yos; instead, we base everything on God's Word. We don't get up in the morning and ask ourselves how we are. We get up in the morning, open our Bibles, and tell ourselves how we are according to the Word!"

patience

"Patience is a spiritual force which undergirds your faith and causes you to be constant through the trial."
- Charles Capps