A few months later, the call of God on my life was getting stronger.
When i didn't do too well in my exams to be guaranteed a place in the university, i thought it was His plan for me to go into a full-time ministry. My parents disagreed with me, and i was glad about that as they certainly were wiser. They wanted me to finish university first. They felt that that would be a greater honour to the Lord, and that no one would say that i'd chosen to serve the Lord because i could not do anything else.
I submitted to their decision. I remember this setback broke their hearts. Mum wanted to knit me a light yellow sweater to keep me warm in the university library, but she stopped knitting entirely then. She just put all her knitting equipment aside, never to pick them up again. In my heart, i told myself i would never disappoint them like that again.
I had not put in enough effort in my studies, erroneously thinking that i had been diligent enough. Studying had always been easy for me as i grasped concepts quickly and had a good short term memory. But for the kind of exams this was, i had to do more than just understand or vaguely remember, i had to memorise the points well enough to explain them at length.
I grew up through that experience, spiritually, emotionally and in character. I realised that I was in no position to serve the Lord. At that time though i could have gone into christian radio or into theological college. But i believe God had a different plan. There were things i had to learn, and character traits i had to develop.
The time i spent in self-study that year was tough. i learnt discipline, dependence on the Lord, and diligent work. i had always been quite diligent, but i had always known to give just enough in order to do well enough. i got bored easily with repetitive work, and studying for the "A" levels was VERY repetitive. I knew the work, but not enough to write a good essay on it. So i learnt to put to memory important points. I learnt what worked for me where study was concerned: how i preferred studying in short spurts/bursts, and needed variety in the topics studied. This was to help my students later when i went into teaching.
I also made a good friend and we encouraged each other in the Lord, and woke each other. She studied later into the night than i did, so got up later... But other than that, we used to discuss the subject we had in common - Economics and GP. And we would just account to each other what we had studied the day before, and what we intended to do that day! The happiest day in each week was Sunday, where i could go to church to worship and fellowship with friends. YAY!
It was to be 16 years later that i would receive the calling to enter bible school, and then to teach and work at the bible school. During those years, i would sometimes look at others with envy who answered His call, and told the Lord. often in frustration, that i was called earlier than them, but they were entering the mission field or ministry before me.
After i completed university with a bachelor's degree with honours, i went into teaching. It was a clear instruction from the Lord, although i would have preferred to serve Him in a full-time capacity. :D
I also had clear instruction when i finished training which school i was to serve at. It was just a knowing. I completed my training with a post-graduate diploma in teaching (with merit).
The allowance i received when i was under training was a couple of hundred more than those who graduated without honours. The same additional amount was given when i was given a full salary. God was returning me what i had lost in the setback. God is so good.
Every two years, i would be asking the Lord whether it was time to leave. But after the first two years, i went into the GEP in the same school i was teaching. After 4 years in the programme, i was approached to become an officer at MOE. i would rather have gone into full-time, but there was no direction from the Lord where that was concerned. Also at that time, my desire to have a baby was intensifying. Instead, there was peace about entering the MOE HQ GE Branch, so i did. I knew my time would not be long there. Three years would be the maximum.
The Lord did release me after three years. I had opportunities to run programmes for students talented in writing, counsel students with problems in studies and at home, and train teachers and impact policy plans, thus honing my administrative and interpersonal skills.
I left the teaching service in March 2003, and went into bible school in August that year.
Thus began a new phase of my life...
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