the life i want

I woke up for a few minutes in the middle of the night, so i started praising God and telling Him i love Him, focusing my attention on God instead of tossing and turning meaninglessly or fretfully.

Then, the Holy Spirit spoke to me about an aspect of a situation i have been dealing with. I decided to make adjustments.

Thereafter, i was drifting in and out of sleep. But each time, i was awake, i rehearsed in my mind, or whispered to myself:

I will no longer say: "this is not the life i want(ed)" about things that God promised, but i have not seen them being fulfilled in my life, yet.

I will say: "My life is lived according to His plan and purpose and will for me".

Saying that former statement expressed slight self-pity i was not aware of until now, and that is not healthy, not glorifying to God. Saying that statement expressed frustration and that is not faith.

The latter statement expresses faith - I believe, i confess, i receive His promises. This is the kind of life i want to live.