i find you waiting

He touched my heart yet again.

I was in church worshiping the Lord, and He broke through all my defences when the words i was singing brought a vision of His waiting for me.

You are the Peace that guards my heart
My help in time of need
You are the Hope that leads me on
And brings me to my knees
For there I find You waiting
And there I find release
So with all my heart I’ll worship
And unto You I’ll sing

Chorus:
For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father, we worship and adore You
Father, we long to see Your face

For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father, we love You
And we worship You this day

He is waiting, all the time, for me to understand Him more, be aware of His presence, to learn of His purpose in and for me,to spend time with Him, to turn towards him.

This revelation brought me to my knees in worship.

Like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son, I see our Heavenly Father waiting. He is not angry anymore. His anger had been spent on His Son when Jesus was crucified on the cross. He sees me in Jesus, and His arms are outstretched to embrace me.

Thank you, Lord, that you are always 'there' for me. You never leave nor forsake me. I'm here for you too, to be used by you, but more than that, to love and worship you.

no mixture...without measure

Came across the following article by Joy F. Strang. Powerful message...

One day when I was driving down the highway, a song came on my CD player. Some of the phrases rang in my spirit: "I am so tired of compromising/ I am so tired of lukewarm living/ I want to go against the grain/ Set me on fire." I hit the repeat button over and over. As I listened, I was struck by the thought that many Christians today live in a state of compromise.

It hasn't always been that way. There have been times in history when the church lived by a different standard than the world and had eternal impact. During the days of the early church, for example, the new believers went straight to the marketplace after being baptized in the Spirit and declared what had happened. As far as we know from the biblical record, no one told them to do that; they just had such an intense awareness of who Jesus—glorified and risen—is that they were compelled to share it!

Even in the midst of the persecution that attended their testimonies, they could not keep silent. The Bible tells us that many were scattered to other regions, and "those who had been scattered preached the word wherever they went" (Acts 8:4, NIV). Miraculous signs followed those who believed.

What was different about the early church? I believe they had a greater revelation of who Jesus is. Some had seen and heard Him in person and witnessed His mighty miracles. Others who had not seen Him personally had heard firsthand testimonies from those who had.

But there is no lack of seeing and hearing today. We have access to the eyewitness accounts of Scripture and the Holy Spirit within and among us. Why don't we experience the realm of power that is recorded in the book of Acts? Could our lack of revelation of who Jesus is be tied to a lack of purity in heart?

I once heard a well-known leader say that God told Him, "Where there is no mixture, I will pour out my Spirit without measure." The words of Jesus recorded in Matthew 5:8 support this statement: "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." We will see God if our hearts are pure—that is, if there is no mixture in them.

A mixture is a combination of more than one element. The Spirit of God plus our carnal nature is a mixture. God's life plus the ways and ideas of the world is a mixture. God condemns such impurity: "Don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God" (James 4:4).

The world needs to see a church—without mixture—operating in God's power. Are you willing to be one He uses for His purpose? Ask Him for a fresh revelation of who He is and begin to look at the world around you from an eternal viewpoint. Just like the believers in the early church, we as Spirit-led women are called to change the world!

be strong and very courageous

I had been praying more often since the beginning of this week, and as i waited upon the Lord especially in the early morning, and just before i sleep. My desire was that i would see the way ahead clearly, to continue to put my whole trust in the promises of the Lord, and have the strength to walk out the plan of the Lord for our lives.

At times, during these times of prayer, i would briefly wonder whether i would hear from Him, but i remember that in the Word, He says He hears me when pray according to His will (1 John 5:14-15) and when i speak in tongues, i speak mysteries to God (1 Corinthians 14:2).

For one who speaks in an [unknown] tongue speaks not to men but to God, for no one understands or catches his meaning, because in the [Holy] Spirit he utters secret truths and hidden things [not obvious to the understanding]. (AMP)

Thus i was assured that my answer would surely come, and that though my mind did not understand what i speak in tongues, my spirit being was edified (1 Corinthians 14:4 and Jude 20).

So i persevered through the week.

Isaiah 40:31 became so real to me during this week. I was literally strengthened as i waited, intertwined with the Lord. The amplified version says it well:

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.

In the meantime, God was showing me about the benefits of tongues. Even though i was seeking Him regarding an area in my life, I was able to pray for others. There were varied prayer assignments that arose during the week - friends in HK experiencing typhoon, people i don't know in parts of China experiencing the same typhoon which had shifted there, a friend undergoing urgent surgery, cousins' mum who had a fall and shattered her hip, church friends who experienced a series of difficulties recently, cousins' friends having marital problems.

I am not boasting about myself. If anything, i am boasting about His strength in me. When i was uncertain about my next step, i turned to Him, read the Word and was strengthened. Whilst in the process of being strengthened, still having no answers as yet in the natural, but having faith that God is with me, has heard me and will answer me, rivers of living water were flowing out from me (John 7:38).

He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” (NKJV)

I could still minister and encourage others in the process because throughout this personal challenge i was facing, i was still plugged into God, drawing all the more upon His grace and strength.

It was a conscious and deliberate decision on my part to take my eyes off myself and my situation and onto God, and although i won't say it was a struggle, i won't say it was a piece of cake either. What i'll say is that the Holy Spirit led me and spoke to me when i read His Word, listened to online sermons, praise and worshiped Him, and as friends shared with me.

I started hearing from Him very clearly on Friday morning regarding what is ahead. This particular minister was sharing from Joshua 1:5-9, and the words BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS stood out.

⁵ No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. ⁶ Be strong and of good courage, for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. ⁷ Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. ⁸ This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (AMP)

3 times God spoke to Joshua the same phrase, and 3 times this phrase resounded in my spirit, especially the 2nd phrase: Only be strong and VERY courageous. I was much encouraged. As i meditated on this, things begin to fit together. I don't have all my answers yet, and i certainly don't have all the steps yet. But i know the attitude i can put on because God is with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is with me wherever i go. Verse 9 says clearly too that i should not be afraid nor dismayed, so i am shaking off those attitudes.

I will be strong and very courageous for my God is with me. Such blessed assurance!

revival labours

The following excerpt is taken from The Revival Labors of Charles G. Finney by Charles G. Finney

At times there was opposition to the revivals. The Lord showed Finney to leave everything to Him and go about his work. At one revival, in which Brother Nash was working with Finney, a group of young men set themselves in opposition to the work. They were like a bulwark hindering the progress of the revival.

"In this state of things," writes Finney, "Brother Nash and myself, after consultation, made up our minds that that thing must be overcome by prayer, and that it could not be reached in any other way. We therefore retired to a grove and gave ourselves up to prayer until we prevailed, and we felt confident that no power which earth or hell could interpose would be allowed permanently to stop the revival.

"The next Sabbath, after preaching morning and afternoon myself - for I did the preaching altogether and Brother Nash gave himself up almost continually to prayer - we met at five o'clock in the church for a prayer meeting. The meeting house was filled. Near the close of the meeting, Brother Nash arose, and addressed that company of young men who had joined hand in hand to resist the revival. I believe they were all there, and they sat braced up against the Spirit of God. It was too solemn for them really to make ridicule of what they heard and saw; and yet their brazen-facedness and stiff-neckedness were apparent to everybody."

"Brother Nash addressed them very earnestly, and pointed out the guilt and danger of the course they were taking. Toward the close of his address he waxed exceeding warm and said to them:"

"Now, mark me, young men! God will break your ranks in less than one week, either by converting some of you, or by sending some of you to hell. He will do this as certainly as the Lord is my God!"

"He was standing where he brought his hand down on the top of the pew before him so as to make it thoroughly jar. He sat immediately down, dropped his head, and groaned with pain."

"The house was as still as death, and most of the people held down their heads. I could see that the young men were agitated. For myself, I regretted that Brother Nash had gone so far. He had committed himself that God would either take the life of some of them, and send them to hell, or convert some of them within a week."

"However on Tuesday morning of the same week, the leader of these young men came to me in the greatest distress of mind. He was all prepared to submit; and as soon as I came to press him he broke down like a child, confessed, and manifestly gave himself to Christ."

"He then said, 'What shall I do, Mr. Finney?'"

"I replied, 'Go immediately to all your companions, and pray with them, and exhort them at once to turn to the Lord.'"

"He did so; and before the week was out, nearly if not all of that class of young men, were hoping in Christ." The Spirit of the Lord was outpoured and the revival soon went forward with great power.

mary knew!

I was leading worship at a ladies' fellowship, and was blessed by quite a few nuggets of truth from the teaching.

I've been meditating one of the statements that stood out for me: Mary knew when it was time for Jesus to do his first miracle at the wedding.

How did Mary know?

Many of us focus on the birth of Jesus and assume that the Magnificat was the only time she heard from heaven, or perhaps not even aware that God is continuing to speak to her through various events and people in her life. Still, the Magnificat shows us clearly Jesus' destiny as Messiah. The glorious song of the angelic hosts, the visits from the magi and the shepherds, as well as Joseph's supernatural encounters God's hand, all clearly pointed to Jesus' divine purpose.

We see in Luke 2:19 that all these had a strong impact on her heart, and she continued to meditate on the Words she heard and the events that have taken place.

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

On the 8th day after Jesus was born, he was presented at the temple and circumcised. Moved by the Spirit, Simeon recognised Jesus as the Messiah, and prophesied over the baby and His mother things that will take place in their lives in the future. Luke 2:33 records Joseph's and Mary's reactions to the extraordinary prophecy:

The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him.

Anna also knew in her spirit who Jesus was, and began to preach to all.

Fast forward to Jesus at 12 years of age: He remained behind and was discussing the Word of God with the teachers. People were amazed at His answers and understanding. Here, Jesus was beginning to understand His own role as Messiah and relationship with God as Father, as evidenced by his answer in Luke 2:49 to his parents who were anxiously seeking Him:

"Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?"

<sup>Again, it is recorded that Mary treasured these things, and perhaps in the years to come, began to understand more, although not fully, what Jesus was supposed to do:

Luke 2:50-51
50</sup>But they did not understand what he was saying to them. ⁵¹Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.

In those interim years, where nothing much was recorded of Jesus' life except that he grew in wisdom and stature and in favour with both God and man, Mary must have continued to observe and hear from the Holy Spirit so that in John 2:5, which was after Jesus' baptism by John the Baptist, she could state boldly and firmly:

His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."

Did she know better than Jesus? Jesus did say just before she instructed the servants that his time had not yet come.

The answer could be found in the miracle of water being turned into wine, and that was the best wine the wedding guests had tasted at the wedding.

Jesus performed his first miracle, and Mary knew His time had come. I believe she heard from the Holy Spirit.

a new song

I woke up with a new song this morning. I quickly grabbed pen and paper and started writing. The melody was fading from my memory, but i managed to write the words. Below are some lines from the 'song' in my heart:

Your faith in you is activated
by the words you speak
with power to make what is dead come alive
to wake that which lies dormant

As you speak forth His Word
miracles are born
plans are fulfilled

As you believe you speak
His Word charged with His spirit and life
dreams and hopes resurrected
bursting into reality

It is interesting that i later read Romans 10:8-11 (see amplified version below)

8But what does it say? The Word (God's message in Christ) is near you, on your lips and in your heart; that is, the Word (the message, the basis and object) of faith which we preach, 9Because if you acknowledge and confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and in your heart believe (adhere to, trust in, and rely on the truth) that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For with the heart a person believes (adheres to, trusts in, and relies on Christ) and so is justified (declared righteous, acceptable to God), and with the mouth he confesses (declares openly and speaks out freely his faith) and confirms [his] salvation. 11The Scripture says, No man who believes in Him [who adheres to, relies on, and trusts in Him] will [ever] be put to shame or be disappointed.

walking

Hubby got us on the park connector network, and we walked a total of 10km over 2.5 hours, from Simei to Bedok camp and then back again, with a half hour break for dinner and drink. That was on Thursday evening from 6-9pm. My ankles ached a little, and there was a slight strain on the muscle/nerve at the back of my knee (which eased by the next morning) and my feet needed some massaging. But did i sleep good that night!

We walked again on Saturday evening. This time, as my ankles were still very slightly tender, i asked for a shorter distance. Hubby promised that we will walk 3km, at the most. We ended up walking about 5km from Bedok Camp to East Coast Parkway Food Village.

We spent a leisurely hour with my in-laws, including our niece and nephew, flying the kite (one single kite, and we had to take turns) and playing snakes and ladders, before having dinner. After dinner, it was time to head home. We walked to the bus stop almost 2km away, took the bus, and then walked again.

A grand total of 17.5km.

Thank God i recovered quickly this time as hubby made sure i warmed down, though my big toe feels somehow out of place. :D

So yes, walking is relaxing and therapeutic, and good for the body.

an open vision

I was at a fellowship with Christians and people of other faiths last Friday morning and we were watching an hour long testimony of believer. It was touching as he had a very difficult childhood, being born out of wedlock, a result of rape. But God had very different plans for him, and he lived, became a believer at the age of 15 and never turned back since.

At the end of his testimony, he gave an altar call, and many responded in the video. 2 ladies among us were already tearing, and the speaker himself was wiping tears off his face. The anointing and presence of God was strong, even in our room. The cry of my heart and of other believers was that God will touch those who did not know Him yet.

When the host of our fellowship asked whether we had any comments or responses, there was the usual awkward silence. After a while, as the host scanned round the room at the 12 of us, one lady spoke up, unable to control her tears: I saw Jesus smile at me. His face was full of love. I felt His love as He came towards me. He is very real. I'm sorry i'm crying.

I was tasked to follow up with her, so we just ended with prayer.

I went to her and spoke to her, and found out that it was an open vision. Her eyes were open, and she saw Jesus as the rest of us in the room faded. She said that Jesus is real, but so is Buddha - whom she is more familiar with, because of her family background. I responded that Buddha never professed to be god. Only Jesus did. She admitted that she had peace whenever she stepped into a church situation, and having studied in a mission school, and having been brought to church periodically by her aunt since she was seven, she admired the teachings of Jesus. But all, whether Jesus or Buddha, led to the same God. I explained further.

She understood but needed more time to come to a final decision, although she felt she was close to a decision. She again told her encounter with Jesus, amazed by His love, and wondered whether if she had not gone to the fellowship, would she have missed it. Perhaps she should have never gone. It was merely a casual decision to attend, and she received so much.

I assured her that this was an encounter planned by our loving God, and she should not miss it for anything.

I just realised while writing this that God's love is so great, that He would have gotten through to her in other ways. I will tell her the next time i speak to her.

baby zee and me :-)

Drinking contentedly: look! i can drink with my eyes closed!

Baby Zee: I haven't slept in so long... all of 5 minutes!
Aunt: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

active aid

Prayer is the greatest of all forces, because it honors God and brings him into active aid. -- E.M. Bounds